


Born To Run

by WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Follows Canon, Grounder Culture, John Murphy Is a Little Shit (The 100), John Murphy x Grounder, Lita kom Trikru, Protective John Murphy (The 100) - Character, Trigedasleng, original grounder characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter/pseuds/WaitingForMyHogwartsLetter
Summary: Lita kom Trikru trains to be a member of her clan's army. And then she meets a hostage, John Murphy.And everything changes.
Relationships: John Murphy (The 100)/Original Female Character(s), Lita/John Murphy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. Blood Ran Through My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> If the dialogue is fully italicised, then it's in Trig. Sometimes short parts will be in italics if there's only one foreign word in the sentence, sometimes it'll be a whole sentence in english but it'll be said in trig.

_“Leeta! Sen yu swis daun!”_ (Lita, put your knife down.) Ria called and I did as she asked, putting my knife away. Ria unsheathed her sword, _“Oso don hod op feva. Jomp in.”_ _(We have waited long enough. Attack)._ I pulled out the training sword she had given me and twirled it in my hand. Ria’s brow furrowed in distaste as she switched to english. “You still fight like Azgeda.”

“I grew up watching Azgeda, can you blame me?” 

“I teach you like Trikru, but you show off like Azgeda,” she spat as we circled each other. 

I rolled my eyes. “It’s in my blood, _Seda._ ” 

“Less talking. More fighting,” Ria lunged at me and I ducked, blocking her hit and rolling out of the way before getting to my feet quickly and preparing for the next attack. I rolled on the balls of my feet, feinting to the left before trying to land a blow on the right. She avoided it with ease and I groaned. “You’re too obvious. I saw that coming.”

“But I feinted!” I protested. 

She laughed. “And it did absolute _skrish._ Come on, again.” I ducked, trying to swipe at her legs, but Ria avoided it and rested her sword against my side. “You left your flank open. Again.” 

This time, I went for a more direct route. I thrust the sword forwards and beat back her oncoming attack, but somehow she managed to get her sword between mine and myself and soon she was holding both of them and I was flat on my back in the dirt, my red hair streaked with mud. I bit back a wince, trying to ignore the pain from the rough landing as I flipped myself onto my feet and brushed myself down. She didn’t need to say “Again”, I was already ready to go. Instead of tossing me back my weapon, Ria threw it to one side along with her own, marking the next phase of training: hand to hand combat. 

Or rather, hand to whatever Ria decided to throw my way. 

I twisted to avoid a kick to the abdomen and had to duck almost immediately after as her fist swung over my head. I grabbed hold of her arm and unbalanced her, using Ria’s own momentum to throw her over my shoulder. Unfortunately for me, she pulled me down with her and landed on top. I wrapped my legs around her from behind and twisted so that I had the upper hand, but she pushed her own legs upwards and flipped me onto my back with her arm around my neck. 

_“Noumou.”_ (Enough.) Ria squeezed tighter, “Tap out, or you’ll pass out. If you don’t know when to surrender then you’ll die in battle.” 

“We’re not in battle, _Seda._ And I’m not done yet,” I whispered through gritted teeth as I rolled us both backwards and into one of the surrounding trees, pushing my teacher into it so that the impact loosened her hold temporarily. I manoeuvred out of her grip, spinning around so that when she hauled us both to our feet and grabbed me again, I was in the perfect position for my next move. 

Without waiting for her to fully recover, I let Ria wrap an arm around my neck and braced myself by wrapping my arms around her back from behind as I planted one foot against a tree and the other just above it as I flipped us over, landing flat on the ground with both of us face down in the dirt and me in more than a little pain thanks to having just dislocated my left shoulder. 

“I regret letting your brother teach you that party trick,” Ria groaned. “I’d rather go to war with the Ice Nation than pop your shoulder back into its socket for the fourth time in the last three months.” 

I rolled over, standing up. “Relax, I can do it myself now.” 

“I don’t trust you to do that. Go and visit Nyko, we leave at first light for Anya’s— they’ve captured one of the Sky People.” 

This took me by surprise. “Really?"

“Go.” Ria was already lacing up her boots. “Like I said, we leave at first light.”

~

I dropped by Nyko’s hut as he finished treating Denae’s fever. He noticed me instantly and shook his head in disbelief. “Again, Lita? I thought I showed you how to do it yourself?”

“Ria doesn’t trust me,” I shrugged, wincing. “Do you mind?”

He made a hand gesture telling me to turn around so that he could place one hand on my back and the other on my arm. Instead of counting down, because we soon discovered that didn’t work well for me, Nyko did the maneuver without warning and I grunted as the bone popped into place. 

“I suppose you are going with Ria to see the sky boy?” He raised an eyebrow suggestively and it disappeared beneath his hair. 

I nodded. “I doubt I’ll be able to do anything, they will probably just stick me on patrol while they torture him. Anya would never even let me watch.” 

Nyko laughed. “Only you would get annoyed at not being able to watch torture.”

“Only _you_ wouldn’t. You’re a healer, you heal people. I’m a fighter, I fight people,” I shrugged. “Just like my brother.”

His face fell, “Are you okay? The loss hit everyone, but he was your family.”

“I wish he wasn’t,” my expression hardened. “Tok was an undeserving ass who didn’t care about anyone but himself.” 

“He was still your brother,” Nyko said slowly. “When Lincoln decided to leave… I know it’s different, because he’s alive, but—”

I cut him off, “Nyko, it’s fine. I’m fine, really. And we all miss Lincoln, but he made his decision. If he ever comes back to Tondc, then it won’t be just yet. But I know he misses you too.” I sent a sympathetic smile in his direction, before walking backwards out the door. “And if you see Artigas, tell him he won— he’ll know _exactly_ what you mean.” 

“Do I want to know?”

“Probably not.”

I pulled on my jacket and braided my hair back before meeting Ria outside. She was in the middle of a conversation with Indra so I hung back, waiting until they had visibly finished to approach. Ria raised an eyebrow at me expectantly so I acknowledged Indra before talking to my teacher. _“Seya. Seda.”_ (Chief. Teacher.) “Are we travelling on foot or with the horses?” 

“Horseback,” Ria confirmed. “Ready?”

I nodded again, trying to hide my smile. 

_I was going to meet one of the boys that fell from the sky._

~

The sun was at its highest point by the time we arrived at Anya’s camp. She revealed that they were keeping the sky boy in a cage inside one of the huts, with guards on the outside doors. Only a select few were allowed to see him, including Anya herself, her second, Tris, Ria, and some of Anya’s other warriors. 

I was not in that ‘select few’. Which is how I found myself out hunting. 

Unfortunately, my mind was somewhere else and for the second time in two shots, my arrow buried itself in the dirt instead of in the rabbit I had been aiming at. _“Spichen,”_ I cursed. (Goddammit) _“Chil au.”_ (Calm down). _Focus. Focus. Focus._ I nocked another arrow and steadied my breathing. _Focus._

But they fell from the _sky_ ! How can I not be interested? I’d much rather be getting information out of the sky boy than hunting! _He fell from the fucking sky!_ It’s like putting a target in front of me, and then handing me a bow and full quiver and expecting me _not_ to shoot. Do they really expect me to have that much self control? Ria has to be kidding herself. She _knows_ I’m curious by nature. How the hell else did I discover Lincoln’s cave two months ago? Determination and a lack of things to keep me occupied, that’s how. 

If Ria hadn’t put me to training to keep me busy, I’d have probably managed to find a way into the Mountain by now, but that’s beside the point. And I’d probably be dead.

An agonising scream scared off the remaining rabbit before I had a chance to loose the arrow and I sighed, slowly relaxing the tension on the bowstring. I put the arrow back in my quiver and slung the bow across my back before going to retrieve the other arrows. 

If they were going to start the torture, couldn’t they at _least_ wait until I’d actually caught something?

It was dinner time by the time the screaming stopped. Either the boy was dead, or they’d gotten all the information they needed for now. That didn’t stop me from being curious, and as Anya and Ria talked in hushed whispers by the campfire, I calculated a way to get myself inside of the hut with the prisoner in. After finishing eating, between the first and second watch I offered to take the second.

Not long after dinner, Anya and Ria had retired to Anya’s cabin, and those that weren’t on watch had fallen asleep. There were two guards outside the entrance, and there was only one way in and out so the prisoner wasn’t escaping anytime soon. 

Well, only one way out. There was another way in. “Easy” enough. It only involved climbing a tree, balancing on an impossibly thin branch and then lowering myself onto the roof in order to slide down the chimney. See? Easy enough.

I scaled the tree and prepared to edge my way along the branch. Was this worth it? All this just to meet the sky boy? He fell from the sky, of course it’s worth it. 

The branch creaked and I hesitated, waiting for it to stop moving before continuing. All I had to do was drop down and land on the hut. It was easy, if you thought of it like that. Easy. Simple. Without complications. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and let go, landing with a soft thud on the roof of the hut as I miraculously managed to stay on my feet. I planted my hands firmly on the edge of the small chimney and lifted one leg inside and then the other, slowly lowering myself down. 

Luckily there wasn’t a fire— they wouldn’t have given a prisoner the luxury— so when my feet came into contact with the ground it was only ashes and the remains of wood from the last time this house had a guest. 

There was a small cage in the corner, and its inhabitant looked up slowly as I hit the ground, tumbling out of the fire grate. He was covered in blood and it was matted in his hair and clothes, and I could only see that thanks to the sliver of moonlight through the window, the only source of light in the hut. 

“Back for round two, are we?” He asked weakly, his words dripping with sarcasm. 

I walked over, tilting my head to the side to take him in fully. “You’re the sky boy?” 

“Go float yourself, Grounder,” he snapped.

I raised an eyebrow. “Grounder? Is that what you call us? I suppose it’s no better than calling you the Sky People.” 

The boy leant against the back of the cage, resting his head against the part closest to the wall as he rested his arm on his leg in order to raise me his middle finger. Glad to see that insult survived amongst those in the sky. Upon closer inspection I realised that his fingernails had been torn off. That was the first part of the torture. “What do you want?” He sighed.

“Information,” I replied plainly and he flinched. “No… not like _that._ I’m just… interested. We watched you fall from the sky, how could I not be?” 

He shrugged, wincing. “I’m interested in why you felt the need to start a war with us.” 

“ _You_ started the war?” I frowned, puzzled. “When you fired the rockets at our village not that long ago?” 

His expression remained blank. “They banished me. They’re not my problem anymore, so I have no idea what you’re talking about. But _you_ started the war when you speared that kid near Mount Weather and hung him up as bait.” 

“That was a warning,” I replied. 

“A warning that we’re screwed if we mess with you?”

“No, that you have to stay away from the mountain. We didn’t expect you to come back for the boy, he was just collateral damage. The mountain is dangerous, we were trying to save you. We didn’t expect you to retaliate with shooting stars that burned a village down.” I clarified, “ _My_ old village.” 

He scoffed, “Are you here to kill me then? For what they did to your village?” 

“It killed my brother.” I wasn’t sure why I was telling the sky boy this, but I did. “Your people killed my brother.” 

“They’re not my people. Not anymore. They banished me,” he repeated. “Banished me after they tried to hand me.” The boy laughed weakly, “For a murder I didn’t even commit.” 

I bit my lip, resting my back against the wall next to his cage and looking at him. “That’s… I’m not sure I know the word in your language. Besides, I won’t kill you for killing my brother. Would’ve done it myself years ago if I’d had the chance. I should be thanking you.” 

“Sounds like a dick,” he laughed. 

“Undeserving _nomajoka_ ,” I agreed.

He raised an eyebrow, “ _Nomajoka_? Do I want to know what that means?”

I snorted, “Since you’ve been called a ‘ _Skaikru nomajoka_ ’ multiple times, I doubt it.” 

“What I don’t get,” he paused, trying to put his thoughts into words, “Is why I’m still alive.”

“Information, mostly,” I replied. “They want to get as much as possible out of you that they can, so we can go to war with the rest of the Sky People. They want justice for the lost village, and the Commander knows that the crimes of the Sky People cannot be answered by one boy.”

The boy laughed, “Your Commander sounds smart.” 

“She is.” I changed the subject. “ _Ai laik Leeta kom Trikru._ What do they call you?” 

“What?” 

I sighed, “It’s become second nature to introduce myself in Trig. I just said ‘I am Lita of the Woods Clan.’” 

“John Murphy.”

“Well, John Murphy of the Sky People, I wish you luck for what you will endure tomorrow.” 

John sighed, “What will I endure tomorrow?”

“Torture, probably.” 

“ _Float me now,_ ” he groaned. 

I made a mental note to store that insult away for later use.


	2. You're Not My Hand To Hold

“You lost the bet, what did you _think_ was going to happen?” Tris teased. “Now stay still, or I might accidentally take an ear off.” 

_“Jok yu,”_ I rolled my eyes. “How much longer are we going to do this for?”

She laughed, lining up the arrow. “Until I make the shot.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “If your gear is poisoned, I will kill you.” 

“Dead men tell no tales,” she whispered, loosing the arrow. 

I didn’t feel it make contact directly, but I felt her arrow whistle past and thud into the apple balanced on my head. “You’re lucky I’m not a man then,” I grinned, opening my eyes and moving away to see the arrow suspended in mid-air by Tris’ shot, pinning it to the tree. “But next time you’re _my_ target, okay?”

“You’re so corny,” she grinned. “Your sense of humor will be your downfall. No wonder Ria hasn’t made you her second yet.” 

Tris had struck a chord and she could tell, and I rolled my eyes again as I muttered under my breath, “Go float yourself.” 

She stopped in her tracks and the arrow fell from where it had been weaving its way between her fingers. “You’ve seen the sky boy, haven’t you?” 

“What’s it to you?” I shot back. “What if I have?” 

She narrowed her eyes at me. “ _That’s_ why you’ll never be Ria’s second, and why I’m already Anya’s. You can’t leave anything alone.” 

I glared at her, “Screw you, Tris.” 

“You even prefer their language,” she laughed.

“Says you, _in their language._ ” 

“I’m fluent, you’re just curious. If you can’t listen to orders, you’ll never be a warrior.” 

I switched to Trig, just to avoid giving Tris the satisfaction of insulting her more in english. “ _Not my fault I’m not a little kiss-ass like you.”_ Before I realised what I was doing, my hand was on my dagger and then the knife was flying through the air and through Tris’ coat, pinning her to the tree. _“I take it back. It’s better off if you’re not the target next time. I can’t promise my hand won’t… slip.”_

“Your temper will be the death of you, Lita,” Tris announced matter-of-factly. 

_“No. It’ll be the death of_ you _, if you’re not careful.”_ I glared at her as I removed my dagger and wiped it down on my front and stalked off. The only good thing about that encounter was that Tris wouldn’t tell Anya or the others. She may be an ass-kisser of the most forceful variety, but at least she’s not a snitch.

I walked back to the village to find Ky, one of the higher ranking warriors in Anya’s army, moving around and knocking on doors frantically. Luckily, Ky used to live in my old village, so I knew him well enough to be blunt in my question. _“Kai! Chit yu gaf?”_ (Ky! What do you want?)

 _“Linkon. Emo na zog raun kom trikova. Emo don em daun.”_ (Lincoln, they came from the shadows. They took him.)

I was taken aback. _“Chon?”_ (Who?)

 _“Skaikru noma—”_ He was cut off by Anya as she emerged from a hut, Ria close behind. 

Ky began to explain, but Anya cut him off again and tugged him inside her hut with Ria following after. I used the distraction of Ky’s arrival to visit John Murphy. The door had been left unguarded, which made sense since the cage was very secure, and he wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon unless someone let him out. 

I slipped through the door, shutting it quietly behind me. “Afternoon, sky boy.” 

“Back at you, earth girl,” he replied without missing a beat, slumped against the wall.

“You look _skrish_ ,” I remarked, momentarily forgetting why I came in the first place. 

John raised an eyebrow weakly, “I have no idea what that means, but I know it’s not good.” 

“It’s not,” I confirmed. “Did you know anything about an armed raiding party? Your people kidnapped my friend.” 

“How would I?” He drawled, “Not like they could shoot me a text, and I’ve been here the whole time.” 

I pulled a face, “What’s a text?” 

John’s eyes widened, “How is it possible that your people are torturing me every day, yet _I_ feel bad for _you_ right now? How do you send messages quickly?”

“With horses?” I replied, confused. “People ride there?”

He put his head in his hands. “That’s tragic, really.” Then something occurred to him, “Wait, without tech… how do you listen to music? You have music, right?” 

I shrugged, “We have a lady who sings our anthem at special occasions. No one in my village knew how to play music.” 

“ _Now_ I feel bad for you.” 

I laughed, and then my face fell. “How much information have you given them?” 

“I tried to hold out at first, not to scream, but your friends’ methods are… _persuasive_ ,” he sighed. “Why?”

“Because we’re at war now. For real. And they’d rather kill you than lose.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why do you care if I die or not?” He asked, pushing a piece of dried-blood-covered hair out of his face. “Come on, tell me. Take my mind of all the fun I’m having in this cage.” 

I snorted. “Kinky.” 

John’s head fell to rest against the bars of the cage. “Should’ve seen that coming.”

“Maybe the fact that a lot of that blood’s supposed to be in your body is impacting your sense of humour?” I joked, before shrugging. “I don’t know. You don’t know me, I guess it’s refreshing. You know nothing about me, so you can’t judge me like Authority Boner Tris or Teacher Knows Best Ria.”

He laughed, but it turned into a coughing fit quickly. “I know what it’s like to be judged. I made such a bad first impression on the people I came to the ground with, they assumed I was the one to murder a guy. I mean, sure, I didn’t _like_ Chancellor Junior, and I _did_ threaten him once or twice… or three, four… okay a lot. I threatened him a lot. But I didn’t kill him. A twelve-year-old girl stole my knife and did it. They tried to hang me for it, but when she confessed they didn’t even punish her.” 

John paused, but it seemed like he had more to say so I stayed quiet and let him finish.

“Then they took off with her, and I was angry so I tried to find them. I didn’t want to _kill_ her… she was just a kid. I just wanted to scare her a little. Bellamy wouldn’t give her up, so I threatened Clarke. And then… the kid jumped. They banished me. I ended up here.”

I sighed, “You probably don’t know this, but _Trikru_ isn’t the only clan in the Commander’s coalition. There’s eleven others. Delphi Clan, Broadleaf, Plains Riders, Rock Line, Blue Cliff, Shallow Valley, Glowing Forest, Lake People, Desert Clan, Boat People and the Ice Nation— _Azgeda._ I’m originally from _Azgeda._ ” It was… interesting, to say the least. “ _Azgeda_ and _Trikru_ have a somewhat rocky relationship. So me and my brother got caught up in a war. There was a prison camp in the Ice Nation, and it was full of Trikru soldiers. They managed to escape, and when they saw how we were being treated, they brought us with them. I went from being _Azgeda_ to _Trikru._ Sometimes my _Azgeda_ roots show, but that can’t be helped. I train with _Trikru_ , I will fight with _Trikru_ , but I’m still not really _Trikru._ But I’m not _Azgeda_ either. I’m no one, really.” 

“You’re not no one,” John said quietly. “You’re Lita. Who cares if you’re not Woods or Ice. You’re on Earth, right? So just be Earth. You can be Earthkru.”

I laughed, “Earthkru?” It wasn’t half bad. “Earthkru. Okay. I like it. Then you’re Earthkru too.” 

“Me too?” He raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules. You said it yourself, the Sky People aren’t your people. So we can both be Earthkru.” 

~

In the few days that Lincoln was held hostage by the Sky People, I was right in thinking that Anya’s people would torture John even more in retalliation. He’d already told them everything about his old camp, but that didn’t make it any easier. Still, Ria refused to let me know anything important which meant that I was forced to listen to John’s screams every day and not know what came out of it. 

Anya was known for getting information out of people. When she finally pushed her soldiers aside and got to work herself, it was almost impossible to concentrate on anything when John’s screams echoed through the village. 

I took another hit from Ria, stumbling backwards and clutching my chest. _“If killing me is a part of my training, then you’re getting pretty close.”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous, Lita.”_ She stopped only to throw another blow in my direction, which I narrowly missed. _“You’re too stubborn for that.”_

After trying and failing to land another hit on her, Ria picked up a staff and used it to swipe my legs out from underneath me. _“You need to focus.”_

 _“It’s the screaming,”_ I replied. _“Messing with my head.”_

 _“If you can’t focus when one boy is screaming, how do you expect to survive the battlefield?”_ She held the end of the staff over me, forcing me back into the ground. _“Focus and fight, or you’ll die.”_

I took a deep breath, trying to block out John’s screams of agony as I calculated my next move. The staff was positioned directly over my chest. If she wanted me to fight, then there’s no way I’d fight clean. I grabbed a handful of dirt, throwing it at my teachers face and distracting her long enough for me to roll out of the way and push myself onto my feet. 

_“Fight properly,”_ Ria sighed, wiping her face. _“Plan out an attack.”_

 _“I thought you taught me that plans never last long in battle?”_ I laughed as I picked up a staff of my own, using it to block her advances. 

She scoffed, _“Oh, so you do listen? I had been wondering.”_

 _“I listen,”_ I confirmed, planting the staff in the ground and using it as a base to swing myself around in order to land a kick on her side. _“When it matters.”_

_“Thought as much.”_

Ria feinted and swiped the staff into my side, but I saw the move coming this time and ducked, narrowly avoiding it and pushing my own staff up to block it. The force of the blow split my staff in two and I cursed under my breath as I faced off against my teacher with two halves of a staff when hers was completely intact. 

If I was in any scenario other than training with Ria, I probably would have paused the fight and began juggling. But I had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate my humour as well as Artigas, who I was sparring with last time this happened. 

I tossed up one of the halves and caught it, testing the weight. When Ria attacked again I blocked the first blow with the half in my left hand, and the second with my right. She moved forwards, bringing up her elbow to my face and slamming it down. I stumbled backwards, ignoring the metallic taste of blood on my lips as I straightened up. 

Clicking my neck, I formed a plan. It wasn’t a very good one, and it was personalised to Ria, so it might not work in battle, but it could work right now, which was good enough. I took a few steps back before running at her, tossing the piece of staff in my right hand at her head. When she reached up to block it, I dropped, skidding along the floor and straight through her legs before hitting the back of her left knee with the remaining half of the staff. As soon as it made contact with her weak leg she buckled, dropping onto her knees and giving me time to pin her to my body with the piece of staff against her neck.

_“You went for my weak leg, smart. But that won’t work with just anyone.”_

I reminded her, _“Everyone has their weaknesses. Told you I listen. Again?”_

_“No. That’s enough for today. Go clean yourself up.”_

_“You look worse.”_

_“Says the girl covered in her own blood.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You're Not My Hand To Hold" - I'm Gonna Do My Thing, Royal Deluxe
> 
> jok yu - fuck you


	3. Something To Hold Onto

I sat in the tree, my legs dangling either side of the branch as I sharpened my sword. It had been quiet for a few hours and both Ria and I were still recovering from the previous day’s training so she’d given me the day off. I’d spent most of it training solo, practicing with the targets with my bow and knives, before taking a break to sharpen my sword. 

_“Lita! Get your ass down here!”_ Tris called, _“Nyko wants you.”_

 _“Nyko’s here?”_ I frowned. _“Tondc only has one healer, why would he come?”_

 _“Do I look like I know?”_ She snapped. _“Come down and ask him.”_

I rolled my eyes and flipped down from the tree, ignoring Tris as I walked back into the village. Nyko was gathering supplies from one of the huts and I spotted him instantly. He waved me over and I broke into a jog to meet him. “Nyko! What’s going on?”

“Lincoln. Come with me,” he said quietly. 

I nodded, following him out of the village and through the trees. “Where?”

 _“Stay low,”_ Nyko avoided the question. _“The Sky People cannot see us.”_

_“Where are you taking me?”_

_“To Lincoln.”_

_“Nyko! What the hell is going on? I thought Lincoln had been captured by the Sky People? Is this a rescue mission?”_

Nyko shook his head. _“It’s complicated.”_

 _“If you want me here, I think I deserve to know,”_ I snapped as we reached the cave entrance. 

_“If I didn’t think you deserved to know, I wouldn’t have brought you,”_ He replied frankly.

He had a point. It was an annoying point, but it was still a point. 

_“Where are we?”_ I hissed.

Nyko raised a finger to his lips and pulled me inside, replacing the cover behind us. I kept quiet as we followed the passage until it opened out into a small room, where Lincoln sat half-upright on a fur rug on the floor, pressing a damp cloth to his chest. 

“Lincoln?” My eyes widened. 

“Nyko? I told you not to come,” Lincoln sighed. 

“Well, brother, I came,” Nyko shrugged. “And I brought help.” 

I waved from behind Nyko, “Hey Linc, guess I’m here to help.” 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he repeated looking around as he tried to get to his feet and stumbled backwards. Nyko rushed to his aid and sat him down, tearing away his shirt and inspecting the gashes across his chest. 

My eyebrows shot up as I dropped down to help them, “What the hell did Skaikru do to you?” Light footsteps padded behind me and I spun around with a knife raised, ready to throw it at the intruder. “Skaikru…” I narrowed my eyes at the girl. 

She folded her arms, “Who are you?” 

“Who are you?” I countered. 

“This is Octavia,” Lincoln introduced her. “Octavia, this is Lita and Nyko. They’re my friends from Trikru.” 

I frowned. “If you’re here, Lincoln must trust you. I don’t, but I might eventually.”

“I didn’t want them to torture him,” she explained. "He saved me."

I put my knife away and looked back at Lincoln, switching to trig so Octavia wouldn’t understand. _“Are you screwing the Sky Girl?”_

His eyes widened and Nyko laughed. Lincoln groaned. _“I’m not!”_

_“Yet?”_

The look on his face gave me the answer I needed. I walked over to Octavia and lowered my voice. “You hurt him, I hurt you. Understand?”

“Perfectly,” she replied with a laugh. “What can I do to help?”

“You can hold him steady while we clean the wounds.” Nyko told her. “Come over here.”

~

I slid down the chimney with more ease than I had the first time around and moved to sit next to John Murphy, who was half asleep. His shirt hung off him in strips and fresh wounds littered his bare chest and back. There were red scratches down the side of his face, visible even in the candlelight, almost as if someone had dragged their nails down the side of it. 

I didn’t look that much better myself. A training session with Ria left me bruised and bloody as she tried to teach me a specific move that I couldn’t seem to get a hand of. My face was home to the beginnings of a black eye, and my entire back was one large bruise that hurt to lay on. I eased myself down onto the floor and cursed as my back made contact with the wall behind me. 

John looked up and I felt guilty for having woken him. Or maybe he wasn’t asleep in the first place. Tears were making light tracks in the dried blood on his face and he had been curled into himself with his head tucked in “Hey,” I whispered. 

He didn’t reply.

“That bad, huh?” I pulled out my water flask and passed it through the bars of his cage and let him take a long few gulps from it. “You don’t feel like talking? That’s fair.” 

“Can you— can you talk for a bit?” John asked quietly, his voice raspy from screaming.

I nodded. “Sure. I can tell you about my day?” I winced as I adjusted my position. “So Nyko took me to see Lincoln, he escaped Your people, and I helped with his wounds. Lincoln said he’s got to come here for a meeting tomorrow to tell Anya about what happened, which I’m not looking forward to. Ria’s in a bad mood but she won’t say why, and she beat the hell out of me in training today. Like I’m probably not going to be able to sleep tonight it’s that bad. Never spar with Ria when she’s pissed. She kept using moves on me that she’d forgotten she’d taught me so I wasn’t sure how to block them. I’ve never been knocked on my ass so much in one day before. I think it’s being here. Ria’s a soldier so she’s used to being called to wherever the war is, but she prefers being at home in Tondc. I wish she’d just talk to me. She may be my _seda_ , but she’s also like family.”

Something touched my hand and I looked down. John’s pinkie finger was curling around mine. A point of contact. An anchor. An “I’m here”. I took a deep breath and let the tension leave my body, relaxing my muscles and closing my eyes.

 _“Mochof,”_ I whispered. “It means ‘thank you’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Something To Hold Onto" - The Anchor, Bastille


	4. Sound The Alarm

Word that the Sky People wanted to meet to discuss a truce got around quickly. Lincoln met with Anya to convince her to attend the meeting and she reluctantly agreed, bringing armed backup in the trees and on horseback. Tris had been chosen to go. Tris is _always_ chosen to go, because she’s Anya’s second. According to Ria, I’m ‘not ready’ and Tris is ‘more experienced’. 

That didn’t mean I didn’t hear everything once they’d gotten back. 

Not by their choice, of course, I was hiding uncomfortably halfway up the chimney of the hut they were meeting in when they had their second major meeting. The first one I would’ve been in, but I had to help Nyko in medical and neither of us had any experience with bullet wounds so it took longer than anticipated. 

_“So it’s agreed then?”_ Anya asked the group of soldiers known as her advisers. _“We use the sky boy?”_ My breath hitched in my throat as I listened for the other replies. There were murmurs of agreement and Anya accepted them. _“Settled.”_

I didn’t know the plan, and I didn’t stick around to find out. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to do this. 

The fact was, I was getting John out of here. 

And I was doing it tonight.

~

Under the cover of darkness, I quietly made my way to the cabin where John was being kept. One guard outside. I used the element of surprise to take him down and barged in. The sound of the door slamming open caused him to jump, but I had already picked up the guard’s keys to unlock his cage before I had time to explain.

“Lita?” He frowned, glancing at the stone chimney. “You came in the front door?”

“And we’re leaving through the front door too,” I said firmly. “Can you walk?”

“Walk? I can barely breathe,” John coughed, clutching his ribs.

With his help, I slung his arm over my shoulders and pulled him up. John spared a glance at the unconscious guard on the floor but I didn’t give him time to take in any details until we were out of the village and in the depths of the woods. “They’re angry about what happened on the bridge and they want to use you to get to your people and when they say that they usually mean through murder or horrendous mutilation and even though Ria said I shouldn’t I have managed to get quite attached to you and I’d rather not see that happen.” 

John blinked, processing what I’d just told him. “Right. And what happened at the bridge exactly?” 

“Meeting between my people and yours about a potential truce went wrong because your people fucked it up by shooting at Trikru. Anya got hit in the arm and she’s on the warpath,” I explained. 

He hesitated, stopping to look back quickly in the direction of the village. “Won’t they punish you for this?” 

“Probably.” I shrugged. “I’ll lay low at Lincoln’s for a few days until Anya cools down. Ria won’t let her murder me, but I could be in for a few lashings. Tris isn’t usually a snitch, but she’s not got anything against dropping hints that I’ve done something.”

He started coughing and I stopped running until it subsided. We got to the bridge and I leaned against the side of it to catch my breath. 

“You— you have to go,” I panted. “I can’t go with you any further. Take this.” I placed a knife in his hand. “Avoid traps. It’s dark and Trikru have many snares and tripwires about—”

“Come with me,” he cut me off. “You don’t have to go back. You know these woods better than anybody, we could survive.”

I sighed. “You have no idea how much I want to. But even though she won’t admit it, Ria needs me. I have to go back. I’m sorry, John.”

He wrapped his arms around my neck. It was a little surprising that he was almost an entire foot taller than me, since I’d never seen him in any position other than cramped into the small cage before now. I gently returned the gesture, careful not to press on the wounds on his back. _“Mochof,”_ he whispered. _Thank you._ Guess he did pick up one or two things. “May we meet again, Lita kom Earthkru,” he laughed weakly. “In better circumstances.” 

“In better circumstances,” I confirmed. He pulled away to leave but I caught hold of his sleeve. “Wait…” Without thinking, I tugged him back to me and pressed my lips to his. John’s lips were cold and covered in dried blood but it didn’t matter. He wrapped an arm around my back and cupped my face with his other hand as I whispered to him. “You’re a survivor, John Murphy,” I murmured against him. “So survive.”

John nodded, limping into the darkness and disappearing. _“Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim.”_ I said once he had gone. _May we meet again._

Once I managed to figure out where exactly I was, it was easy to find Lincoln’s cave, even in the dark. I knocked on the piece of metal covering the entrance, and when there was no reply I made my way inside, announcing myself to give him warning. “Linc? I did something and need to lay low for a few days. Please tell me you don’t have company?” 

No response. 

I frowned, following the passage until it opened out into the cave. Empty. He wasn’t here. 

_“Guess I’ll just make myself at home then,”_ I announced to no one in particular, flopping down onto a blanket. 

~

When I woke up coughing, Lincoln was awake and watching me, and he dropped the white flower he had been twirling between his fingers to roll me onto my side as blood dripped from my lips. _“What did you do?”_

_“Where were you? What the fuck is going on?”_

_“I asked first. I live here, I am allowed to come and go, remember?”_

I rolled my eyes. _“I need to lay low for a day or two. Let Anya cool off when she realises the shit I pulled or I’ll get labelled a traitor and death by a thousand cuts from everyone in bloody Tondc.”_

Lincoln closed his eyes and leant his head back, groaning as he repeated the question. _“What did you do?”_

_“I broke out the sky boy and helped him escape.”_

He sighed, handing me a rag to wipe my lips. When I held it up to my mouth, more blood dripped onto my hand from my nose. _“The sickness, Anya sent it in him to infect the others to soften the battlefield. They were planning on letting him go early this morning but I guess you beat them to it. I had half-expected Ria to have taught you about this tactic.”_

 _“She did,”_ I replied. _“Biological warfare. I just didn’t get a heads up that it was currently in effect.”_ Then it hit me, _“Oh my god…”_

 _“What?”_ Lincoln asked, concerned. 

_“John, he’ll think I knew. I broke him out… I got him close to his camp… He’ll think I betrayed him…”_ A tear fell from my eye but when I lifted my hand to wipe it away my fingers came away bloody. _“At least one good thing will come out of this. They won’t think I’m a traitor, because it was their plan all along.”_

 _“Hopefully,”_ Lincoln sighed. _“I tried to contact Octavia and warn her, but she never came. She could be sick, or even dead for all we know.”_

As if on cue, Octavia proved his suspicions wrong as she entered the cave, calling out for him. “Lincoln? Lincoln? Lincoln.” He shot upright, checking her ears, nose, mouth and eyes for any sign of bleeding instead of greeting her. She realised what he was doing and frowned. “You knew.” Then she spotted me, coughing up my insides in the corner and wishing the virus would hurry up and kill me already. Before she could open her mouth and say anything, I elaborated for her.

“He did. I didn’t. I do one nice thing and I get repaid by getting given a blood fever for it. That’s it, this is the last time I do shit to help other people,” I laughed, leaning over when it turned into a coughing fit. 

“Not the lesson you should be taking away from this,” Lincoln’s brow furrowed. 

“Screw you, Linc. You’re not my _seda._ ” 

Lincoln ignored me, turning back to Octavia. “I tried to get you out of there. You not see the flower?” 

“I saw it,” she said bitterly. “Right before I saw the kid _your people_ sent to infect us. People are dying, Lincoln. Clarke sent me here for the cure.” 

“There is no cure,” I cut in before he could reply. “If there was, he would’ve given it to me.” 

“So you’re just gonna let my people _die_?” Octavia asked incredulously, following Lincoln’s gaze as he refused to meet her eyes. “You were gonna let _me_ die?” 

“The sickness passes quickly, few are immune. We use it to soften the battlefield,” he told her. “I am not surprised you’re one of the strong ones.” 

I raised an eyebrow, slightly amused. “Offence taken. Are you calling me _kwelen_?” _(Weak)_

They both ignored me. Octavia digested his words. “Battlefield?” 

“They attack at first light,” Lincoln revealed. 

_Shit, no one tells me anything anymore. Then again, it’s not like I stuck around to find out._

“You’re gonna have to help me save them,” Octavia decided. 

“I can’t, I tried!” Lincoln protested. “My people think I’m a traitor now.” 

I shrugged, “It’s true. They do. Probably me too.” 

“Because of the bridge?” Octavia frowned at him. “You were just trying to make peace?” 

“It’s not the bridge…” he trailed off, and I felt like I shouldn’t be there for this conversation. 

She caught on quickly, “because of me?” 

“That doesn’t matter now,” he shook his head. “I’m leaving, Octavia, as soon as Lita’s better. I want you to come with me.” 

“And go where?” 

“East, to the sea, then across it. There’s a clan, allies of the woods. They’ll take us,” Lincoln pleaded with her. 

“Floukru, the boat people,” I realised out loud. “Luna’s clan.” 

Octavia tried to reason with him, “I can’t just let my brother die.” 

“There’s nothing you can do to stop that now.” 

Just as their argument reached a crescendo my head spun and as more blood dribbled from my lips, and I fell forward as I coughed, choking on blood. Octavia turned me onto my side, ignoring Lincoln as she dabbed at the blood on my face with the rag that had been clasped in my hand. “I can warn them,” Octavia announced, refusing to look at him. 

“Octavia, they’ll kill you. If you’re there at dawn—” 

“I won’t be,” she said firmly. “Just wait for me here. I’m coming with you.” 

I stopped coughing and she stood up, kissing goodbye to Lincoln. I called out to her before she left. “Octavia? John… is he alive?” 

“Murphy?” She asked, and I nodded to confirm. “Yeah, he’s damn near impossible to get rid of.” 

~

By the time night had fallen, I was back on my feet, and since Lincoln was preparing to take Octavia to see Floukru, I was ready to go back to Anya’s and face her and Ria’s wrath. It was close to first light and I could hear the war drums as I crossed the bridge, the sun creeping over the horizon on one side of me. I ducked out of the way, veering off to the left which was the direction I knew they weren’t coming in so that I wouldn’t be mistaken for one of the Sky People and killed on sight. Or maybe they’d kill me on sight anyway, knowing full well who I am. 

I could hear the thundering footsteps of the Trikru warriors as they charged into battle. I ducked out of the way, still exhausted from the sickness, and watched as they got to the bridge. They were met by gunfire from one of the Sky People. I waited, listening to the silence as the soldiers hesitated whether or not to charge again after the five shots resounded. 

They started to move again, edging onto the bridge but pausing as another shot rang out. The second shot that left the gun caused a larger explosion and the bridge collapsed, stones and slabs of concrete flying through the air. I recognised Tris as she was thrown backwards from her spot next to Anya, blood trickling from her lips. The rest of the warriors retreated back to Anya’s village, carrying the wounded as my ears rang from the bomb blast. 

The Sky People had won this time. 

Which meant that when I went back to Anya’s village I would have hell to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "So Sound The Alarm And There Goes The Night" - Smoke and Fire, Sabrina Carpenter
> 
> kwelen - weak


	5. We Live Through Scars

The first lashing burned and I gritted my teeth as it opened up the fresh wounds. So this is what happens when your teacher doesn’t want you to be executed for being a traitor and agrees to take your punishment into their own hands. 

_“You shouldn’t have helped him escape,”_ Ria said through gritted teeth.

My hands clenched into fists as the whip came down again and tears blurred the corners of my vision as I fought to not cry out. _“It helped your plan, if I’m remembering correctly.”_

_“Exactly why you’re not dead.”_

Every other day for four weeks. Anya has agreed that’s a suitable punishment. Some crap about forcing me to “live with the pain of my actions”. Only Ria and Anya know about my involvement, and Ria pushed to keep it quiet. This was my second session.

It’s better than death, I suppose.

Or at least it would be, if the wound actually had time to close up between beatings. It didn’t help that Ria’s weapon of choice after spear was the whip, which meant that she was more than skilled in it. 

_“It was stupid,”_ she pointed out. _“And reckless.”_

_“How did you find out it was me anyway?”_

_“Tris saw you.”_

Bullshit. She never saw me. She was just shit-stirring and had enough pieces of the puzzle to make an educated guess. _“You might have to restrain me next time I see her,”_ I muttered as I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands to keep myself quiet.

_“Unlikely. She’s almost dead. Anya’s caught two more of the Sky People to treat her.”_

I scoffed, _“Karma at its finest.”_

 _“Try not to get attached to these two,”_ Ria joked weakly as she brought the whip down again and I couldn’t fight the scream anymore. It tore through my throat loudly as beads of sweat formed on the side of my forehead, unable to be wiped away while my hands were bound around the stake in front of me. _“The Sky Boy…”_ Ria said after a while, _“Was he worth it?”_

 _“Yes.”_ I said firmly. 

~

After passing out from pain, I woke up in Nyko’s cabin back in Tondc. I was lying on my front and as I woke up with a start I rolled straight off the bed and flat on my back on the floor, crying out in pain and cursing. Nyko turned around and helped me to my feet. _“You’re a mess, what happened?”_

 _“Ria not tell you?”_ I raised an eyebrow, surprised, as I perched back on the edge of the bed and winced, trying to think of what to tell him. _“Went against Anya, had hell to pay for it. This is my punishment… that or death, and I’m beginning to think I should’ve picked death. Speaking of my teacher, where is she?”_

 _“Ria dropped you off here not that long ago. Urgent business back at Anya’s so she disappeared again,”_ Nyko revealed. _“Artigas missed you.”_

I laughed, _“Of course he did. I’m the only one who knows how to have any fun around here. No offence, Ny.”_

 _“None taken,”_ he deadpanned. _“Now shoo, I need the bed.”_

I did as told and made my way outside, still wincing with every other step but that was to be expected. It was hard to tell if the second lot of lashings were worse than the first. On one hand, I was slowly getting used to it. On the other, each new round opened up the old wounds and caused more pain. 

There was a soft thud as someone dropped down from a tree beside me and fell into step, but I was used to Artigas doing so. _“How was your trip?”_ He asked, _“Tris still a bitch?”_

I snorted, nudging his arm. _“Of course, but now I think she’s a dying bitch so I suppose we have to cut her a bit of slack.”_

He pulled a face, _“In her dreams. Last time I was at Anya’s she hit me with a flying apple. Surprisingly painful.”_

 _“Anything new here?”_ I asked as we made our way towards the statue of a man at the entrance of the village, climbing up it to each sit on a shoulder while we talked.

Artigas shrugged, _“I might have asked out Ry.”_

I thumped him on the shoulder. _“Shit, Arti that’s huge! What’d he say? You should’ve led with that!”_

He laughed, _“He said yes. But we’re taking it slow. So no doing that thing you did with my last boyfriend where you threatened to kill him if he ever hurt me.”_

 _“You’re not special, I do that for all my friends. I threatened Linc’s girlfriend a few days ago,”_ I smiled. 

_“Linc got himself a girl?”_

_“Oh yeah, he’s totally banging one of the Sky People. She seems nice though. I met her twice,”_ I revealed. 

Arti’s eyebrows shot up, but then he shrugged and continued. _“What’s new with you?”_

For a brief second I considered _not_ telling him about John. Then I caved and revealed everything, including breaking him out, getting sick, and getting lashes. By the time I had finished, his facial expressions had gone on a journey that most actors would be proud of, and he was trying to comprehend everything I had just told him. 

_“You like the Sky Boy?”_

I rolled my eyes. _“Yes, I like the Sky Boy.”_

 _“Is he cute?”_ He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. _“If he were Trikru, would he be my type?”_

I thumped him in the arm again. _“You’re impossible!”_ I hesitated, _“Arti, you can’t tell anyone. Only Ria and Anya know about my involvement in his escape. They might have told Indra, but that’s it. I’m still getting lashes every other day and Ria doesn’t want any of the others to find out and push for…”_

_“Thousand cuts?”_

_“Thousand cuts.”_

_“Brutal,”_ he whistled. 

_“Tell me about it,_ ” I sighed. _“When Trikru has it’s large war against the Sky People, are you allowed to come?”_

He laughed, _“Why would they let me fight? What about you?”_

 _“One, Ria wouldn’t let me because I’m ‘inexperienced’. Two, my back looks like a cracked glass window.”_ I shed my jacket and leant forwards for him to see and Arti visibly winced.

 _“All that for a Sky Boy, huh?”_ Arti raised an eyebrow. _“He worth it?”_

I tilted my head back and groaned, _“You’re the second person to ask me that! Yeah, he was.”_

_“Was?”_

_“Well if he survives the war I doubt we’ll run into each other again.”_

Artigas tipped an invisible hat to me, _“Have a little faith.”_

~

Three hundred _Trikru_ warriors, including Anya, went to the Sky Camp to wipe out the Sky People. I wasn’t one of them. Four had been selected to stay behind and guard Tondc, while Indra and Ria went to the capital to talk to the Commander about the current plans. Anya was in charge of the army until the Commander sent Tristan to take over, which I heard she wasn’t pleased about. I watched three hundred of my clan leave for war. 

None of them returned. 

The only warning we got was a large explosion from the direction of their camp, but by the time we went to investigate we only found charred skeletons and various belongings that had been left behind by the Sky People when they disappeared. 

I prodded half a rib cage with my foot and picked up a striped knife that seemed to have been made from a piece of the ship, before we made our way back to Tondc with no more people than the amount our small scavenging group started with. We had lost, and I knew Indra and Ria wouldn’t be pleased. The only good thing from them not being here to find out straight away was that they weren’t dead along with the rest of them. 

For the second time, something fell from the sky. On the night of the war what seemed at first to be like a shooting star made its way down to earth, breaking into pieces with one of them landing yet again in _Trikru_ territory.

I was sitting up in one of the trees at the edge of the village, spinning the knife between my fingers, when a scratch on the inside caught my eye. Well, at first I thought it was a scratch, but on closer inspection I realised someone had carved their initials into it. _J.M._ What are the odds? _John Murphy._

Someone shouted from the direction of Tondc and I dropped down, landing on my feet as I slipped the knife into my pocket and took off running to see what the commotion was about. When I arrived, I found several of my village beating a figure I was all-too-familiar with. _Lincoln?_

I pushed someone out of the way to get a better look and unfortunately my suspicions were confirmed. Lincoln had been caught sneaking into Tondc and since he had already been declared a traitor, the punishment was death by a thousand cuts. I bent down next to him, lowering my voice so that the others wouldn’t hear. _“What happened to going to the sea? To Luna?”_

 _“Octavia has been poisoned. I’m here for the antidote,”_ he hissed back, pushing me forcefully out of the way as Indra arrived. 

I nodded at him, mouthing. _“Where?”_

_“Statue.”_

So I set off to find Nyko. He had emerged from his hut upon hearing the news about Lincoln but I caught him before he could see for himself, switching to english in case any passersby who weren’t warriors heard. “Octavia is by the statue at the entrance to the village. She’s been poisoned. You need to take her the antidote and I will cover for you, okay?”

He sighed, “I’ll do it.”

I laughed, “I didn’t think there was a universe where you wouldn’t.” Before he could leave, I caught Nyko’s arm. “We’ll get him out of this, right? We can’t honestly let them kill Linc?” 

“I don’t see how we can get him out of this one, Lita,” Nyko picked up a bag and pushed past me, disappearing out the door. 

I’m already on thin ice, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to do everything I could to stop them from killing Lincoln. 

~

So my plan to create a distraction to stop Lincoln from facing death by a thousand cuts didn’t exactly go _well._ It seemed solid: all I had to do was set a fire along the edge of the village so that when everyone went there then I could untie him and we could both make a run for it. Then I bumped into Ria, who had just gotten back with Indra, was forced into a training session, and missed the beginning of the ceremony. 

Which meant I couldn’t get him out. 

Nyko was still nowhere to be found. 

Until someone tripped the perimeter alarm and walked right up to the entrance. That someone being Octavia, as she held Nyko captive. I had to admit, I was considerably impressed. 

_“Ai laik Octavia kom Skaikru_ , and you have something I want!” She shouted, knife pressed against Nyko’s neck. 

I raised an eyebrow at her, silently questioning, “Really? Didn’t he just save your life?” 

Ria pushed past me as Indra arrived, handing me my bow and motioning for me to stand on the side of the trench with the other archers. I nodded, accepting the weapon and positioning myself, even though I had no intention of actually shooting. 

_“Ai laik Indra kom Trigeda. Chit yu gaf?”_ Indra walked around before translating, standing in front of Octavia but not so close to put Nyko’s life in danger. “I said what do you want, Octavia of the Sky People?” 

“Lincoln.” She said firmly.

Indra’s expression stayed unreadable. “No.” Octavia responded by kicking Nyko in the back of the leg so that he dropped onto his knees. The archers raised their bows but Indra held up a hand to stop them. “Enough,” she warned. “Nyko is our only healer.”

“Good. Then you’ll do as I say,” she advised, turning Nyko over and pressing her knife closer to his neck. “Bring Lincoln to the place I saw him last. He knows where that is. Just you and him, no one else. If I see _anyone_ else, I’ll kill your healer. You have until dark.” 

I watched her leave, lowering my bow and walking back to Indra and Ria. _“If you want to keep Nyko alive, I suggest you do what she says.”_

 _“Lincoln was your friend, of course you’d prefer if we let him go,”_ Indra scoffed. 

I rolled my eyes, something I probably shouldn’t have dared to do in front of the Chief but it didn’t really matter. _“Nyko isn’t just our healer, he is_ also _my friend, and I’d prefer if we didn’t let him die.”_

She couldn’t deny that I had a point. 

Indra sighed, _“I will take Lincoln there myself. While I am gone, Ria is in charge.”_

~

The wait while the trade took place was agonising. If Indra returned with Nyko then that meant Lincoln was alive and free. If she didn’t, that meant that they were probably both dead. It was quiet, and a small group of us waited just inside the village, close enough to know if there was trouble, but too far away to hear anything that happened. 

“REAPERS!” 

A shout from Lincoln spurred us all into action and I scaled a tree to drop down on the other side of the wall and run into the mayhem. Several others followed me but I didn’t bother to check who they were as I pulled out my sword and slashed at someone who tried to attack. Lincoln was facing off against multiple Reapers and I stabbed one in the back before taking out my sword and using the side of it to smack another in the face. Indra had been pushed to the ground and I held out a hand to help her up before realising that Octavia was barely conscious a few feet away. 

I threw a knife at one of the Reapers in the group that dragged Nyko away but it was too late, even though it punctured the man he seemed to barely feel it and it did nothing to stop them. 

The Reapers had taken Nyko, Lincoln, and several more of our own. 

And we had to get them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We Live Through Scars This Time" - Scars, James Bay


	6. I Will Send Out An Army To Find You

_“Are you ready for this?”_ Ria raised an eyebrow at me. Even though she was one of the better fighters in Tondc, Indra had decided she should stay behind and be in charge while Indra led the rescue mission. 

_“If I wasn’t, do you really think you could stop me from going?”_ I laughed.

She rolled her eyes, patting me on the head awkwardly. _“Bring them home.”_

 _“I will,”_ I told her firmly as Indra rounded the corner and began giving orders. 

I moved to stand next to Arti, my bow slung over my back and my sword hanging by my hip. 

_“If you fall behind, you get left behind. We must find the raiding party before they reach the tunnels. After that, it is—”_ Indra cut herself off, making eye contact with Octavia who had been hiding behind a tree and watching, probably hoping to help. 

Octavia stepped out from behind the tree, “You’re going after the Reapers. Lincoln taught me how to fight, let me help.”

“Kill her,” Indra announced in english, probably only to give her a couple of seconds warning as three of her most skilled warriors set off after the Sky Girl. I let one arrow fly in her direction, fully expecting it to miss its mark completely, which it did. At least it showed my ‘participation’. 

When they got back without having found her, Indra set off with a sigh and the rest of us followed. If we didn’t cut off the Reapers before they got to the tunnels then we’d never be able to get our friends back. 

~

I walked at the back of the group, barely able to hear the plan Indra was trying to strategise at the front, but at least I was able to keep pace with Artigas. I could’ve sworn I heard a rustle in the trees but when I looked back there wasn’t anything there. 

When Indra had finished the plan, we stopped in the woods to discuss it and listen to what she had in mind. _“The entrance to the tunnel is here. We will ambush them here.”_ She gestured to a spot to the side of the map she had drawn. 

Penn rolled his eyes, _“Is this your plan? Tomac is wounded. Lita is a wildcard. Artigas is just a boy—”_

_“You’re just jealous I’m a better fighter than you, Penn.”_ I glared at him. 

_“They took my father. I can fight!”_ Arti protested. 

The other warrior laughed, _“Can you fight a Reaper?”_

“STOP!” Indra snapped, regaining control of the situation. “We strike from the shadows, when they stop to feed on our bait.” 

“So I’m the bait?” Artigas sighed. 

Indra shook her head. “No. You are a warrior.” She stood up, pointing at one of the bushes. _“She’s_ the bait.” 

Octavia emerged, and I realised she must have been what I heard earlier. She walked out with her arms raised to stop the others from shooting before standing her ground. “I am not afraid.” 

“You will be,” Indra replied. “Now let’s get our people back.” 

I cracked my knuckles, grinning at Octavia. “That’s the formal way of saying ‘let’s kick some Reaper ass’.” 

Indra tried to hide her disappointment in my comment, and I pretended I hadn’t noticed as she continued to form the plan. “Lita and Penn: take the trees. Artigas, you and I will remain hidden until the Reapers are drawn away from their prisoners. Then, we free our people.” 

Not long after, Octavia was lying on the floor as bait, and I was watching from above in a tree opposite Penn, who had his bow raised and aimed at the Reaper at the front. I mirrored his movements. This was the closest thing to fighting a war that I was going to get anytime soon, and I was going to savour it. 

I had studied the Reaper’s language. Lincoln dubbed it as _Ripasleng_. It was sharper than _Trigedasleng_ , and I couldn’t instantly understand it. It took a lot of translation inside my head while I tried to work out what the words were as they differed slightly from Trig. I missed the first part of the Reaper’s sentence, but I caught _“Ge ron ‘i”_ which seemed like “She’s mine.” It was probably in reference to Octavia. The man lifted his sword to attack her when someone let a spear fly into his chest and he stumbled backwards. I loosed an arrow into his shoulder and jumped down as Octavia got to her feet ready to fight. 

Artigas sent an arrow that only just saved Octavia from getting her head sliced off, and she smiled to thank him as I took a running jump and slashed my sword on the back of the head of another Reaper. Octavia managed to save Indra before rushing to the log that the Reapers’ prisoners were tied to and yanking their hoods off one by one. 

“Where’s Lincoln?” She asked Nyko, the last person on the log as I came over to cut them loose. “Please, was Lincoln with you?” 

He shook his head quietly and she took a few steps back, collapsing against a tree and letting out a cry. I walked over and put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, biting back my own tears at the thought of Lincoln ending up with the Reapers. “I’m sorry, Octavia.” 

Nyko came over to talk to her and I gave them some privacy. Or rather, the _appearance_ of privacy while I eavesdropped from slightly further away. 

She looked up at Nyko, her expression blank. “If you’re going to kill me, get it over with.” 

“You proved yourself well, Octavia of the Sky People. We’ll let you live,” he told her, holding out a hand to help Octavia from the ground. “Lincoln was a good man. He was my brother.” 

Nyko returned to the group and I walked back with them, watching as Indra gave Octavia a subtle nod in thanks to her saving her earlier. I raised my hand in a short salute to her instead of a goodbye, “You know, you’re not a half-bad fighter. Lincoln taught you well.” 

~

We got back to the village and Artigas disappeared with his father and Nyko went to help the wounded. I prepared to climb a tree but Ria tapped me on the shoulder before I could. _“Talk?”_

I turned around, shrugging. _“What’s up?_

 _“I have to go with Indra to the capital again.”_ She revealed, _“Nyko is in charge while we’re gone.”_

I frowned, _“Isn’t this like your fifth time to the capital in as many weeks?”_

She shrugged, _“Lexa enjoys my company. That, and we have to keep talking about the Sky People and the threat they pose.”_

_“Alright, how long until you get back?”_

_“Not that long. Training is postponed, but you can spend time on target practice while I’m gone.”_ Ria paused, _“Since Anya is dead, and she is the only other person who knows… you no longer need punishment sessions. I’ll see you when I get back.”_

She barely gave me two seconds to process the information before disappearing back towards the village. It started to rain and I thought about what Ria had said, self-consciously touching the recent wounds on my back from the lashings before I clicked my neck and started to climb the tree again. 

I must have dozed off because by the time I came to my senses again it was already dark so I climbed down from the tree and ditched my bow in the weapons hut before going into my own and getting ready for bed. I took off my jacket and hung it in the corner and was about to take off my top when I smelt… _smoke?_

Grabbing my jacket on the way out, I rang the alarm and filled up a bucket of water to try and douse the flames that were currently ravaging all our food supplies. How the hell could this happen? I broke down the door and pulled it aside, letting people in more easily to try and take down the fire as I tried to salvage some of the food, reaching in and grabbing boxes of nuts and passing them through the door to Artigas even when flames licked at my sleeve and I had to douse my hand in one of the water buckets. 

_“How did this happen?”_ Someone shouted, but I wasn’t paying attention. 

_“This is all our food! We need to hunt in the morning,”_ Nyko shouted. _“Save what you can!”_

I turned around just in time to hear someone shout _“Invaders!”_ followed by several gunshots piercing the air as two Sky People with guns emerged from the shadows. 

_No…_

_He wouldn’t be so stupid to come to a Trikru village, right?_

“Who’s in charge here?” The boy who fired the shots asked, as his partner’s face flickered into view in the light coming from the fire. “I’ll ask again, who’s in charge?”

I stepped forwards as Nyko announced himself as leader in place of Indra, but all the other sounds faded away as I watched the other Sky Boy, who also had his gun raised. “Stay calm. Our leader isn’t here. You can deal with me.” 

“Nobody has to get hurt.” The first boy announced, “We just want our people back.” 

I took another step forward, watching the second boy. “John?” 

He lowered his gun and I saw his face as it twisted into a look of confusion, “Lita?” 

“We don’t have your people,” Nyko frowned.

The first boy shrugged, keeping his gun pointed at us. “Then you won’t mind if we look around.” He turned to John. “You know her?” 

“Yeah, from when they kidnapped and tortured me.”

“Will that be a problem?” 

“No, Finn, it won’t,” John rolled his eyes. 

_Finn._ So that was the first boy’s name. 

Finn peered round the corner and spotted the pen that we usually keep animals in. “Put them in there and guard them, I’ll have a look around.” 

John did as he was told and herded us into the enclosure as Finn barged into each of the huts in turn. I rolled my eyes, “That’s an invasion of privacy. You know that, right?” 

He pretended he hadn’t heard me, and I could feel Artigas tensing up next to me like he was ready to strike. _Bad idea. Bad idea._

Artigas raised an eyebrow, leaning in to whisper to me. _“Really? This asshole?”_

I groaned, _“Shut up.”_ Changing tactics, I switched to english and tried to hold a conversation with him. “John—” his head snapped in my direction— “John, listen to me. We don’t have your friends. I swear, they’re not here.” 

“Why should I believe a word you say? Huh? You made me think you cared about me, but it was all an act, wasn’t it? Fake? You made it seem like you broke me out, but really it was all planned so that I could go back to my people and infect them all with that crappy sickness,” he spat. “Well, you’re a damn good actress.”

I paled instantly at his words, “I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t. You have to believe me!”

John scoffed, “I don’t _have_ to do anything.” 

Nyko frowned at me, “You broke him out?” 

_“Natrona.”_ Someone shouted from behind. _Traitor._

“Yes, I know that makes me a traitor,” I rolled my eyes, ignoring the whispers behind me. “I’ve got the fucking scars to prove it.” I turned my attention back to John. “If I had known what they were planning, do you really think I would’ve helped you? If the virus is transmitted by contact do you really think I would’ve been stupid enough to support you through the forest? To _kiss_ you? I got sick! I almost died, but the whole time I was worrying about _you._ What _you_ were doing. If _you_ were still alive. Ria asked me if betraying my clan was worth it, if _you_ were worth it, and I said yes. It’s not an act, I _do_ care about you. You trusted me then and I’m asking you to trust me right now. We don’t have your friends. If you let me out, I’ll help you find them, but they aren’t here and they never were. These people are _innocent._ ”

His expression changed, as if he was trying to see if I was telling the truth or not. Something flickered behind his eyes, but it disappeared the moment Finn came back. He swapped the gun to his other hand, rubbing at his nose and blinking quickly as if to avoid tears. “At one point, I might have believed you.” 

“It was real, I swear,” I said quietly.

“Stop talking,” was the only response I got.

Artigas spoke up, _“You don’t deserve my best friend. She’s too good for you. She took beatings for you and you still think she’s disloyal. Lita is the most loyal person I have ever met and she’s worth a hundred of you.”_

I turned to stare at my friend, my eyes brimming with tears. _“Really?”_

John registered my reaction without understanding Arti’s words. “What did he say?” 

Nyko sighed, translating for him. “He thinks you’re too good for our Lita. That she took lashings for you yet you believe still that she is disloyal. She’s the most loyal person that he has ever known.” He frowned at me, “You said those beatings were for disobeying Anya. You didn’t give me details…” 

“I didn’t want to worry you,” I sighed. 

Finn disappeared around another corner and John turned his head to watch him, calling over while he kept his gun trained on us, “You find something? Finn? Finn, answer me! Are you alright?” Artigas stood up but Nyko grabbed one of his shoulders to put him down and I put myself between him and John’s gun as he ordered Arti back down. “On your knees,” he warned. “On your knees!” 

“Back. Up.” I warned, “Or you’ll regret it.” 

Finn appeared out of nowhere, running and vaulting over the fence into the pen and holding up a jacket that we had retrieved from their dropship. “What have you done with them?” He raised his gun at Nyko and my hands curled into fists, ready to fight him. 

“Hey— hey, Finn, calm down, alright?” John tried to placate him. 

“Their clothes are here!” Finn shouted back. “They were here!” 

John shot me a look, trying to decide if I had been lying or not. “Finn!” 

“You killed them!” He whispered. “You killed them!” 

Some of the others tried to move but Nyko stopped them. _“Stay where you are.”_ He spoke slowly to not anger him anymore. “Your friends were not here. I saw one, Octavia. She was alone.” 

“These people are scavengers, Finn. They could’ve just found that stuff,” John tried. 

“It’s true,” I told them. “We found it outside your camp. No one was there.” 

Finn grabbed me by the hair and pushed me to the ground, putting his boot on the side of my head to keep me down. “WHERE ARE THEY!” 

“Hey, Finn, stop! Stop! Look at me,” John tried to calm him down again. “Listen to me. Finn, don’t do this. Let’s just walk out of here while we still can, okay?” 

He moved his foot and replaced it with his gun, resting it on the back of my head as I spat muddy water out of my mouth. 

John continued to talk to him, “Finn, _please_.” 

The pressure on my head released and Nyko hauled me upright. I clicked my neck and glared at Finn, still watching John out of the corner of my eye. Finn sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking up at the trees, the gun hanging from his hand. John grabbed him and pulled him aside, just out of earshot. 

He raised his voice, “The guy with one eye? Maybe because you had a gun to his head, Finn!” 

“The man with one eye.” Nyko realised, and his voice caused Finn to point the gun in his direction. “You saw Delano. A snake. A thief. He and his men were cast out. You are his revenge.” 

“It makes sense, Finn,” John nodded. “We need to go, now. Now! We need to go!” 

The moment they turned away, one of the others made a run for cover and vaulted the fence, causing Finn to open fire on him. He crumpled, multiple bullet wounds on his body. Nyko stood up but didn’t leave, his face torn. “He was just trying to get away!” 

While they were distracted, Artigas shot up and ran towards Finn, desperate to make him pay for what he did to one of our own. I reached out to stop him but my hand clasped around nothing as he moved away. Finn shot him down, bullets flying and Arti dropped to his knees before landing on the ground. 

Someone screamed, and it took a moment to realise it had been me. 

My best friend lay on the ground, blood pouring from his mouth as I stood there. Nyko held others back, trying to stop them from retaliating as I stared in horror, my mind replaying what had just happened on a loop. 

“Finn! Look at me! We need to go now!” John pleaded, trying to pull him away. 

But Finn refused to take his finger off the trigger and when someone else surged forwards, they were taken down too. Arti’s dad followed him and despite John’s protests as he tried to stop the shooting, more people died. He turned to the treeline and stopped, dropping his gun as three more Sky People appeared, one of which was Octavia. 

Nyko jumped over the gate and dropped to his knees beside Arti, and Octavia whispered his name softly as she sat down next to them. Tondc was a sea of bodies, with barely ten people left alive. I couldn’t focus, I could barely breathe, but the sight of Finn’s face was enough to rouse me from my shock as I stood on shaky legs. 

He looked at the blonde girl who had arrived, “I found—” 

I cut him off, launching myself towards him as my fist connected with his jaw, sending him stumbling backwards. I hit him again, and again, until he fell to the ground and I sat on top of him, raining punches down. Someone grabbed me from behind, pulling me away from him and I fought against them, desperate to make Finn suffer for what he did. I was screaming, kicking out as John pulled me away from him, wrapping his arms around me as my screams turned into quiet sobs, and my whole body shook as I dropped to the ground, bringing him with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I will send out an army to find you" - Rescue, Lauren Daigle


	7. Take My Pain And Turn It Into Gold

The next few days went by quickly. There was the funeral for those who lost their lives in the massacre, a hunting party to make up for the food lost in the fire… I tried keeping myself busy so that I didn’t have to relive the incident, which also meant I hadn’t been sleeping. Ria had already postponed all training sessions until she got back from Polis, but it wasn’t like I was in the right frame of mind for training anyway. I tried target practice, like she suggested, but my aim seemed to have taken a hit along with my concentration which made for less than optimal conditions. 

When Ria arrived back from the capital and brought the Commander with her, announcing that they had declared war on the Sky People, I was happy for something to do. I mean sure, I didn’t exactly _want_ a war with the Sky People, I wanted to stick a knife deep _deep_ into that bastard Finn. Or an arrow, or spear… as long as it’s long and sharp I’m not picky. But if I could do that during a war then sure, I’d be happy. 

Then Nyko told me that Lincoln was still alive, and had been a Reaper, and now was no longer a Reaper, and before I could figure out what all of that meant I registered that he had said something about Lincoln being in the infirmary in the Sky Camp and I was arguing with the man at the gate. 

“Listen. My friend is in there and I don’t care what problem you have with the rest of my people you are letting me in or so help me in the name of _Bekka Pramheda_ you will _regret_ it.” I glared at him. 

“We already have two of your kind hovering impatiently over there like they’re waiting to use the bathroom, we don’t have room to keep an eye on you as well,” the man quirked an eyebrow, nodding his head in the direction of the two riders. 

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. “This isn’t over. I will be back.” 

“Looking forward to it,” he sighed. 

I made my way over to the two riders, one of which was Penn. _“What the hell are you doing here?”_

 _“I could ask you the same thing,”_ he replied pointedly. _“Why are you at the Sky Camp?”_

_“Lincoln is here. Why are you here?”_

_“The Commander agreed to an alliance with the Sky People on the condition that they surrender the boy Finn so that he can face a suitable punishment for the massacre.”_

I raised an eyebrow, _“Now that’s a plan I can get on board with. In the meantime, I’m getting inside.”_

 _“If you do get inside, force them to surrender the boy?”_ Penn suggested. 

I shrugged, _“They’ll break eventually. I’m here for Lincoln. As much as I want my own revenge with that murdering son of a bitch, he’s not my priority.”_ I returned to the guard from before, “Let me in. This is getting boring now, and I want to see my friend.” 

“No Grounders allowed in Camp Jaha.” 

“Newsflash, you already have one. _Lincoln_ , the guy I’ve been _trying_ to get to!” I sighed, looking the guard up and down. “He is in the infirmary, and if you don’t let me in, you and I are gonna have _issues._ ” 

“Are you armed?” The guard asked patiently. 

“Maybe,” I shrugged. 

“I can’t let you in if you’re armed,” he pointed out.

I pulled a face. “You’re armed, and you’re inside.” 

“Yes, but I’m a _guard_. It’s my job.” 

“And I’m a warrior, I’m always armed. Are we going to have a problem, or can I see my friend now?” I asked, bored out of my mind and wishing the process would speed up a little. “Look, buddy, pal, dude I met about ten minutes ago, I’m giving you two options: open the gate and let me in, or I kill you and find a way to turn off your little electric perimeter, and I let _myself_ in.” 

The guard sighed, raising an eyebrow at me along with his gun. “I’m going to give you one more chance to back up. Back the hell up, or I’ll call the Chancellor.” 

“Do it. I dare you. Call for backup because you can’t handle the wit of a seventeen-year-old earthborn girl. Might want to call for some balls while you’re at it since you clearly have none,” I yawned, pulling out a knife and using it to dig out some dirt from under my fingernails. 

He bristled, “Listen here you little—” 

“Let her in,” a familiar voice interrupted him. “We can trust her.” 

I rolled my eyes at John. “Oh, _now_ you trust me.” 

The guard raised an eyebrow at him, “And I’m supposed to trust _you_ on that?” 

“I’ll keep her out of trouble,” he replied. 

I scoffed, “Like you’d be able to. If I decided to cause trouble, you’d probably—” 

The gate opened slightly and John reached through, clamping a hand over my mouth before I could say anything that could slightly jeopardise being allowed in. “I guess you’re here for Lincoln? I saw Bellamy and the others bring him in last night. Or you’re here to kill or kidnap Finn?”

“Lincoln.” I mumbled, unable to speak properly with his hand still covering my mouth as he led me away from the gate. When he finally pulled away from me I folded my arms, narrowing my eyes at him. “So _now_ you trust me? Aren’t you worried I’m _acting_? Or that this was all a _plan_?” 

“God, Lita!” John ran a hand through his hair. “Even if I didn’t believe you, I talked to Octavia. _Moba_ , alright? Am I saying that right? Look, if I butchered it then I might as well say it in english as well. _I’m sorry_ , okay? Damn it, I knew Octavia was bullshitting me.” 

I hesitated, his use of Trig catching me off guard. “No, you got it right. I’m sorry, _moba_. You said it.”

“Oh, okay.” 

We stood there quietly for a minute, trying to avoid each other’s eyes in the awkwardness that followed his apology until John decided to break the silence. “Lincoln?” 

“Lincoln,” I agreed.

~ 

He dropped me off at the infirmary before disappearing with a girl wearing some sort of metal contraption on her leg. Octavia was waiting by Lincoln’s side and he was sitting upright, talking quietly. Needless to say, they were both surprised to see me.

“Lita?” Lincoln’s eyebrows shot up. 

I wrapped my arms around him, “Fucking hell Linc, you scared me half to death! I find out in the space of less than twenty four hours that you’re alive, a Reaper, then you’re _not_ a Reaper, and you’re in some weird Sky Camp hospital? Nyko really buried the lead when he said you were alive.” 

“It’s been… eventful,” Lincoln sighed. 

Octavia laughed breathlessly, “That’s one way to describe it. How the hell did you get in? I doubt the guards at the gate were… agreeable.” 

I shrugged, “John pleaded my case.” 

“Did he apologise for being a dick and jumping to conclusions?” She raised an eyebrow knowingly and I let out a laugh. 

“He did. In Trig. Was that your doing?” 

She shrugged and Lincoln interrupted, “She may have had a little help.” 

Octavia raised her hand with her thumb and forefinger so close they were almost touching. “Just a little.” 

“I’m a little out of the loop, what’s going on with that Finn kid, the murderer?” 

Her lips set in a thin line as she replied, “The Commander wants him to die before the alliance is formed. To make up for those who died in the massacre.” 

“One life for the eighteen that died in Tondc? Has she gone soft?” I reeled back, barely able to believe it. “A lot of people aren’t going to be happy about that.” 

“I know,” Lincoln sighed. “But his actions are his own. She can’t condemn all of the Sky People for the actions of one boy.” 

I bit my lip, “Are they planning on doing it the torture then kill way?” 

“Starting with fire,” he replied. 

“Ah, _that_ method. I’m familiar.” Ria had taught me about that. For the worst of traitors. Instead of thousand cuts, it was a more gruesome procedure that most didn’t survive for very long.

Octavia sighed, “I know this won’t bring Artigas back… but you’ll probably be happy to know that after we left Tondc I beat the shit out of Finn.”

That _did_ bring a smile to my face. A little. “Linc, you have brilliant taste in women.” 

He pressed a teasing kiss to Octavia’s temple. “I know.” 

~

That night, despite the efforts of the Sky People to stop him from doing so, Finn turned himself in to be executed publicly. That night, Clarke Griffin killed him so that he wouldn’t be tortured, and the Commander accepted that and formed an alliance with the Sky People. The next day, the Commander, Clarke, the body of Finn, and several other Sky People, accompanied us back to Tondc so that Finn could have a traditional funeral there in order to give closure to those affected by the massacre. 

I didn’t feel like I had fucking closure, I felt like I was being slowly suffocated. 

Not that anyone cared. 

Well, I had a feeling someone did, since despite the dirty looks he continuously got sent from other members of _Trikru_ , John still decided to come to the funeral. He walked towards the back of the group, lagging slightly behind and pretending not to notice the stares and glares he was receiving. 

I was trying to make up my mind on whether or not to approach him, since I’d been offered a spot up the front on one of the horses pulling the cart with the body in. The girl with the metal contraption (which I’d now been told was a brace for her leg) was sitting in the cart next to the body while Clarke Griffin and the dark-haired boy from the village— I think he’s Octavia’s brother— walked alongside her. 

It was getting dark by the time we finally reached a place to camp on the outskirts of Tondc. I made my way away from the groups of Grounders and _Skaikru_ and ignored the clear divide present between them until Clarke set her things up in the middle and Octavia’s brother reluctantly joined her. I found a tree that was close enough to the campsite that I could watch the other people but far enough away that I didn’t have to deal with any of their bullshit. I could see John looking around from my place up in the tree, and I didn’t think he consciously walked over to underneath where I was sitting, but he ended up there all the same. He sunk down to the ground with his back against the tree and I tightened my position on the branch, swinging so that I was hanging upside down just above his head. 

“Find your own tree,” I announced. “I’m sitting in this one.” 

To say he was startled was probably the understatement of the century. John shot upright, narrowly avoiding bumping his head into mine as he did so and muttering various curses about how I could’ve caused him to ‘have a heart attack or something’. “Jesus, _fuck._ Lita you can’t just— _fuck_ …” 

I laughed as the blood began to slowly rush to my head and I reached up to lower myself down onto the ground safely. “Well that’s my serotonin for the next week. I should sneak up on you more often if you’re going to have a reaction like _that._ ” 

“Were you up there the entire time?” John glanced up at the tree. “Upside down?” 

“If I was upside down the entire time I’d have passed out by now,” I pointed out, before changing the topic to the conversation I actually had been planning on having with him. “You came.” I stood next to John without facing him, not standing too close, but closer than I would if it were anyone else. It wasn’t exactly a question, but I was still surprised that he had shown up. A lot of the others didn’t exactly consider him _welcome_ in Tondc, considering what happened the last time he was here. 

John cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah. I did.”

“Why?” I hoped I knew the answer. 

“I wanted to… check on you,” he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “Last time I saw you was a bit quick, and the time before...”

I finished for him. “I was sobbing uncontrollably in your arms after my best friend was brutally murdered by the man we’re having a funeral for tomorrow.” Okay, so maybe it was a bit blunter than it should have been, but I’d never been one to soften my words. 

“And now?”

“Physically, I’m fine. Mentally… I’m dealing with it. And by dealing with it I mean the thought of today makes me want to walk straight into a Reaper den.”

“What exactly are Reapers? I mean judging by the context they’re not brilliant.”

“Hope you never find out,” I sighed. “I was doing okay. I was keeping myself busy. And now his body is coming to be burned in the village he massacred, and all I see is Artigas.”

John sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is.”

“It’s not.”

“I could’ve stopped him.”

“You would’ve died.”

“And? Not like anyone would miss me.”

“I would.” I hesitated. “I meant what I said. I did care about you— _do_ care about you. It was real for me, all of it. It was real.”

John let out a breath, deep in thought. He didn’t say anything for a while, until “That’s why being betrayed hurt so much. It was real for me too.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I waited for him to say something else. He didn’t. But he did move. He took a small step closer, so we were shoulder to shoulder, and linked his pinkie with mine like he had in the hut. 

It was small. It was an anchor. Physically, it wasn’t much, but it was enough. 

I leant towards him to press a light kiss to his cheek, but something made John turn at the last second and I was faced with the familiar feeling of kissing John Murphy. At least this time there wasn’t any dried blood. I pulled away slightly, mostly out of surprise, to notice that he was wearing a similar expression of shock. 

“That was unintentional,” I felt the need to announce. “But I didn’t hate it.” 

John let out a breathless laugh. “I wouldn’t be against it happening again. But is now the best time? I don’t want to… if you’re not okay.” 

“Now is a brilliant time John, because I need a distraction. Tonight, distract me. Tomorrow, we can talk some more.” 

He took a step closer, running a hand up my arm. “You want me to distract you?” I nodded as I took a step back to brace myself against the tree, pulling him into me. John lowered his voice a little, whispering a comment before crashing his lips into mine. “I think you’re pretty distracting all on your own.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Take my pain and turn it into gold" - Champion, Barns Courtney


	8. Hard To Be Alone

I woke up half curled into John’s side with both of us leaning against the tree. The sun was creeping over the mountains in the distance and the forest cast a shadow over us. I desperately tried to go back to sleep, wishing that the day would wait a little longer to start. It didn’t, no matter how much I tried to squeeze my eyes shut. I groaned and turned over, cursing when I rolled straight from where I was balanced on John’s arm and landed flat on the roots at the base of the tree. 

This seemed to wake him up, and he blinked dazedly. “Hey.” 

“Morning,” I smiled. So maybe last night had been the first night in a while I’d had an uninterrupted sleep. “Sleep well?” 

John nodded, pushing himself upright, “My arm’s still asleep thanks to you, it’s completely numb.” 

I laughed, “That’s the price for being a damn good pillow.” 

“Funeral today, you okay?” Concern flashed across his face.

“Okay as I can be,” I shrugged, letting out a sigh. “I’ll be better once it’s all over.” I judged the distance from the makeshift camp to the entrance of Tondc. “Long walk to the village,” I pointed out. 

John threw his head back with a groan, “Yay, more walking.” 

I bit my lower lip, “There _is_ a way around that, you know.” He raised an eyebrow expectantly and I gestured to where the horses were grazing. John’s eyes widened in horror and he backed away, shaking his head profusely. “Come _on_ John. Never rode a horse before?” 

“I grew up in space, what do you think?” He scoffed, picking up his bag. 

“Come on,” I said teasingly, “It’ll be fun. All you have to do is try not to fall off.” I held out a hand, “It’s not actually that hard.” 

He sighed, following me towards the horses. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?” 

I slung my bag over my shoulder and patted the horse that I had been riding yesterday before unclipping him from where he was attached to the post. Reaching into my bag I pulled out a carrot, chopping it into pieces using one of my knives before feeding it bit by bit. Once he was finished, I climbed onto his back and got comfortable, ready for the ride to the village. I looked back at John, who was hovering next to me still hesitant and trying to disguise it as disdain for the horse instead. I held out my hand again, this time to help him up behind me. “Come on, it’s fun.” John muttered something under his breath but took my hand, managing to get up behind me without incident. He didn’t entirely seem sure what to do, which made sense since it was his first time on a horse, so I reached behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. “See? Easy. Like I said, all you gotta do is not fall off.” 

“Easier said than done,” he drawled, reluctantly wrapping his arms tighter and scooting closer to me. 

I smirked, grateful that he couldn’t see the flush creeping up my cheeks as we set off. 

~

When we arrived, I dismounted and John stumbled off behind me. By the time the rest of the Sky People had disarmed— I quickly confiscated John’s only knife— and I had secured the horse, _Trikru_ had already prepared the funeral pyre. Finn’s body was placed on it and the Commander started the ceremony. 

_“People of Tonc. In fire, we cleanse the pain of the past,”_ she announced, and Lincoln repeated it to translate for the Sky People. She hesitated when it was time to set it alight, and instead held the torch out to Clarke.

 _“Yu gonplei ste odon,”_ Clarke whispered as she touched the torch to the pyre before stepping away. 

I swallowed thickly, watching as the body of Artigas’ murderer went up in flames. 

The sooner the feast finishes, the sooner this could all be over. 

The Sky People were led into the rarely used banquet hut that had been decorated for such occasions, and the few from _Trikru_ that had either prepared the feast or simply been allowed to attend hovered at the sidelines, with the Commander’s highest ranked flanking her at the table. I leant against the back wall, watching everyone and occasionally locking eyes with Ria from where she sat on the other side of Indra, who took the Commander’s right hand side. She glanced at John hovering next to me and didn’t say anything, except for a slight raised eyebrow to silently announce her distaste. 

“I’m guessing that’s Ria?” John leant in to whisper.

I tried to hide a laugh during the Commander’s speech. “How could you tell?” 

“The others hate _Skaikru_ in general, but her hate is completely directed at me. I could feel her eyes burning the back of my head earlier,” he revealed. 

“Yeah, that’s Ria alright,” I smirked. “You obviously know who the Commander is. Between Ria and the Commander is Indra, Chief of _Trikru_ , and on the other side of the Commander is her right-hand man and bodyguard Gustus. Not that Lexa has ever needed a bodyguard, because she is one of the best fighters _Trikru_ has ever produced. You’ve already met Nyko… last time you were here… and you know Lincoln a little through Octavia.” I glanced around to see if I’d missed anyone important. “Oh, and that’s Penn. He’s a dick, and he _will_ start a fight with you at some point. He does it to everyone. Don’t let him get to you, he’s annoying like that.” 

John raised an eyebrow slightly, taking it all in. “I’ll keep that in mind. On my side you have Clarke, who’s basically running things even though she’s the same age as us and her mom’s supposed to be in charge. Then there’s Octavia who you already know, and her brother Bellamy— he’s ‘secretly’ in love with Clarke, and we’re pretending we haven’t noticed— then there’s also Raven, who I shot once. She hates me and for good reason. She was dating Finn before he came to the ground, but then he cheated on her with Clarke and that was a whole—” 

“POISON!” Someone shouted, cutting John off and making me realise I probably should have been paying more attention to the feast. “It was _Skaikru_!” 

The tables were pushed aside and cups hit the floor with a crash as Gustus doubled over and collapsed backwards. Nyko was on him immediately to provide medical attention and Indra brandished her sword. 

“Should’ve known our clans wouldn’t have gone an entire feast without going at each other’s throats,” I muttered, pushing off from the wall and pulling out a knife. 

Bellamy threw himself in front of Clarke and Lincoln sheltered Octavia, even though it was pretty clear from the start that the two girls needed no protection. Clarke tried to talk to the Commander, pleadingly. “You have to know this wasn’t us! We didn’t do this!”

 _“Everybody out!”_ Indra ordered, and Ria ushered others out of the way. _“Search them.”_

Someone advanced towards John and began to pat him down while he squirmed uncomfortably, “Hey, I barely know you— _watch it_.” 

One of the _Trikru_ guards produced a small vial from Raven’s jacket even as she protested that she hadn’t put it there. The Commander turned it over in her hands before taking charge of the room. “No Sky Person leaves this room!” She ordered, taking her warriors with her and shutting the door behind them. 

“Hey!” I shouted to Ria, _“What the hell?”_

She gave me a disapproving glance in response and didn’t say anything else. Lincoln fought to get past me, trying to get information out of Indra. _“Indra, wait! Let me speak for them.”_

 _“You_ are _them,”_ she replied, lip curling up in distaste. 

I groaned, kicking the door with my foot. “Well, help yourself to the food while you’re here,” I announced, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Just hope it isn’t poisoned.” 

Then I spotted the chimney in the corner of the room. John’s followed my gaze, sighing, “Really?” 

“I want to know what’s going on,” I shrugged, walking towards it and putting my head and shoulders up. “See you on the other side.” 

I braced my back against one wall and pushed one foot against the one opposite, pushing up from the ground and beginning to walk up the chimney like I had so much practice in doing so. By the time I made it to the top and crawled out, I was virtually unharmed— albeit covered in dust— and I dropped down the side of the building next to where Ria and Indra were discussing the incident. 

Ria narrowed her eyes at me, _“Where did you come from? How did you get out? Why are you covered in—”_

I brushed her off, _“The less you know, the better. What the hell is going on?”_

 _“You saw what happened,”_ Indra set her mouth in a thin line. _“The Sky Girl tried to poison the Commander.”_

 _“But how do you know it was her?”_ I asked, trying to get to the bottom of this. 

_“The poison was found on her,”_ Ria reminded me. 

_“But if they were checked for weapons when they came in, how did someone miss the vial?”_ I asked, feeling uneasy as the Commander walked over. 

_“Heda,”_ Indra greeted her. _“I think they should all pay for this attempt on your life.”_

 _“I doubt that will be necessary, Indra,”_ Lexa replied calmly. _“Only the one responsible should face the charges.”_

I let out a sigh of relief, but I still wasn’t convinced, even as they led Raven out and strung her up against a pole to let everyone in the village drag a knife against her skin. I tensed up, watching uncomfortably as I recognised that this could’ve been me if Ria and Anya hadn’t been lenient for my punishment for helping John escape. 

I pushed the uneasiness down and turned back towards the Sky People. “The alliance is over, if you don’t go now then you’re on _Trikru_ land and they will not hesitate to kill you,” I warned them. “You have to go.” 

“What about Raven?” John asked, “She didn’t do it, she shouldn’t have to die.” 

Speaking of Raven, she let out a cry of pain as Indra lifted up her shirt to draw a line on her skin with her knife as he finished his sentence. Another member of the village stepped forwards and did the same just as Clarke stormed out of the banquet hut like she was about to commit arson. I know that walk. I’ve _walked_ that walk. 

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Bellamy followed her. “You’re going to get yourself killed.” 

“I need that bottle now,” she ordered Nyko, who disappeared into his hut to grab it. “Stop!” She shouted to Lexa, who raised an eyebrow. 

“Let her pass,” the Commander waved a hand, allowing Clarke to step forward. 

Clarke glanced back as Nyko looked for the bottle. “One of your people tried to kill you, Lexa. Not one of mine. I can prove it.” 

“You should’ve run,” Indra threatened. 

Nyko handed Clarke the bottle and she downed half of it in one go, swallowing it and miraculously staying conscious. The Commander stared at her, looking between the bottle and Clarke. “Explain.” 

“The poison wasn’t in the bottle. It was in the cup.” 

_“A trick, Commander,”_ Gustus warned, and I shot him a glare which he purposefully ignored. _“Do not be fooled.”_

Bellamy frowned at him. “It was you. He tested the cup, he searched Raven.” 

“Gustus would never harm me,” Lexa pointed out. 

“You weren’t the target,” Bellamy replied. “The alliance was.” 

“We didn’t do this, and you know it,” Clarke said firmly. 

The Commander turned to Gustus. _“You’ve been accused, Gustus. Speak true.”_

“This alliance would cost you your life, Heda. I could not let that happen.” 

She shook her head at him, “This treachery will cost you yours. _Put him on the tree.”_

I pulled out a knife and helped them cut Raven down so that they could replace her with Gustus. Clarke’s mother began to look after her wounds as the rest of the Sky People watched each member of the village slice at Gustus. When it got to my turn I spun the knife between my fingers once before dragging it across his shoulder and letting the next person take their turn. I dropped the knife and watched droplets of his blood splatter across the ground as it hit the earth. 

“This could’ve been Finn,” Raven realised, looking back at Clarke. 

_This could’ve been me,_ I thought, walking away before the Commander got a chance to finish Gustus off, plunging the knife through his heart with pinpoint accuracy. 

I heard heavy footfalls follow me and knew it had to be one of the Sky People. The only one who cared enough to follow was John. He revealed himself by speaking but I had already guessed it was him. 

“That’s what they do to traitors?” He asked slowly, as if he was trying to figure out his next words before I could even reply. 

“That’s what they do to traitors,” I confirmed, knowing exactly what they were getting at. “What they should’ve done to me for helping you. Anya would have, if Ria hadn’t intervened. I got this instead.” Sighing, I shed my jacket and lifted up the back of my top to reveal the slowly scarring lines the whip had given me. 

“I’m sorry,” John said quietly.

“I’m not. It was my decision.” I pulled the vest back down and put my jacket back on. 

“My _fault_.” 

I spun around, “Not your fault. My decision, my choice, my burden to bear. I’ll recover. You have your own pain, John. Don’t try to shoulder mine as well.” 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. 

“Well I’m sorry that you’re sorry, because I’m not sorry. You’re alive, I’m alive, so I’m not sorry about that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> "Blood ran through my veins." - Kicks, Barns Courtney.
> 
> Some single words in trig I didn't translate:  
> \- skrish: shit  
> \- nomajoka: motherfucker


End file.
